Copyright © 2018 by Marvin Cohen

If you have any singular woe,
don't double it with extra trouble.
Detonate your trouble
to a heap of demolished rubble
by a good demolition job
by a hard-hatted construction mob
wielded together
by a corrupt organization
that gets double pay for taking a vacation.
With an outfit like that,
who wouldn't want to be a hard-hat?
So if you have a woe, enlist their service
and pardon them if on your shoes they take a piss
when "bargaining" you out of that and this.
Soon they'll embellish your woe
but put you in their permanent debt.
If you think you can get out of it,
including your shoes, you're all wet.
Do turn down their offer of a "bet."
That'll give you much more to fret.
But you don't dare to turn it down:
Their protection racket is offered with an irresistible frown.
If you don't take it, they'll tab you as a "clown,"
and increase what you owe them to simply an outlandish amount,
offered at a surprisingly low "discount,"
signifying how your woes are bound to mount
by a significant degree.
To save your skin, be sure to agree
with their "outstanding" terms,
or they may slip into your drink some meddlesome germs.
You can't trifle with such formidable firms
or they'll squash your face down among the worms
while lisping their list of "exacting" terms
which to disagree with is ruinous.
Their "violations" are numerous.
No pity for the consumerist
if you happen to be on their list
and be pulverized by a pure right fist
through which your shoes will be further pissed.
The luck you never had should be "goodbye" kissed.
Goodbye is the right note to find yourself missed.